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I once tried to untangle my feelings about the heartbreak of a friendship—the kind of pain I never anticipated when I was younger.

It’s a different kind of heartache, one that’s difficult to navigate. My circle of friends has never been big, and over time, it has only gotten smaller. In some ways, that makes things a little more awkward, a little quieter. But at the same time, it also feels more effortless, more low-maintenance. There’s a comfort in knowing that the friendships that remain don’t require constant upkeep.

They’re my way of showing up, something that still feels unfamiliar in social situations, where I’m used to my own space and no longer needing to prove anything. We simply are.

You can also read: Have you been among the people sending me these messages in the last month?