s e p a r a t e t h e s h e e p f r o m t h e g o a t s

Emotional Excess of A Potato


I’ve spent hours of re-consuming movies as a kind pilgrimage or a sentimental journey. Rob told me that I had this habit of watching Friends over and over whenever I felt broken (or in his term ‘potato’). “You feeling potato hon?” asked him, while part of his face peeked in the corner of the bedroom’s door. “Maybe.” answered me which often followed by my usual “Don’t ask.” look.

Then usually I was drowned to the word “maybe”. I’m not sure whether I felt potato or not.

I’ve been rewatching Friends over and over again for more than two decades now, I don’t know if that’s normal but truth is I don’t really care.

The least complicated reason is that I really like the movie. Or maybe because I’m a creature of repetition (I fear of trying new food– I don’t know there’s something new to try– especially if the ideas come from a foodie). Yes sure, repetition seems like it would make it lost its newness surprise. But repetition also requires less energy to process, easy to digest and I consider easy entertainment is good.

Sometimes they’re like habits, like praying the same prayer before bed every night– regular and automatic. Sometimes I watch familiar movies or series to extract fondness about the way things were– the warm particular nostalgic feeling when we exposed to scenes or songs from our younger days. A time machine to revisit a memory.

Then there are rituals, like watching all 8 Harry Potter movies after seeing The Cursed Child, watching Lost In Translation before going to Japan for the first time, The Family Stone on Christmas, binge-watching previous series before the new ones, or re-watching a movie after finally reading the book which inspired the film.

Anyway, just wanted to share screenshots from movies I re-watched this week during quarantine. Also, listening to the CMBYN’s soundtrack was a good detour from Sufjan Stevens’ latest album which I disliked. :/

Emotional excess may harmful but so is emotional depletion.

Friends’ apartment sets from Pinterest. Screenshots from Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989), Frances Ha (2013), Carrie Pilby (2006), Call Me By Your Name (2017).

A Tear


While I have some drafts I’ve been working on for this blog (means that I clearly had zero talent in writing but know if I put some nice pictures it would help give nuances to it), I just wanted to share one of my source of joy during this quarantine.

A friend in the past introduced me to DW’s music and I instantly loved the spacey sound of his guitars, the echoing lines and how his songs created such a peculiar mood. I didn’t listen to him from Osker or Fingers Cut Megamachine but I do enjoy all albums under his own name.

Last year, I Google search him a few times a year to see if an album has dropped and he is hard to follow (essentially absent from social media except an inactive Facebook page and he doesn’t have a website). Then one day I received a notification from his Facebook page and he posted some updates regarding his upcoming album and he’s on Instagram!

After a six year break A Tear in Fabric was released. As written on his Bandcamp page, the break was defined by a series of changes: the birth of his daughter and the illness and eventual dead of his father.

My favourite songs from this release: Domesticated, Slow Motion, In Babylon.


Devon Williams’ live stream from home on Instagram, May 2020.
Photo: Devon Williams

I had this photo of him taped on the wall of my desk. Aryaduta Semanggi A37A, 2017.

‘In Babylon’. Captured and edited from the video, courtesy of Slumberland Records, 2020.

Fangirling in September


Day Wave, Ancol – 2018

Vancouver Sleep Clinic, Ancol – 2018

Sundara Karma, Ancol – 2018

The Libertines, Ancol – 2018

Perking Up


Try to be mindful by focusing deeply about the environment I am in.

All seems to be alright.

Being sad and upset is pretty normal. These are just emotions we feel as a human being. It changes you and prepares you to show the reality of this world, the people of this world.

Tale of Death


Captured from Black Mirror 03×04 “San Junipero”

I have found myself thinking too much about death, not that I want to end my life or anything. It’s just what I believe has gotten me to this point is the fact that I’ve realized how easy we can leave this world.

I often experienced death of strangers that I saw on the article or social media from a curious perspective. While I accepted it as an inevitable part of life, I also thinking it can generate a great deal of terror of the unknown future is. Their death motivated me to explore deadly diseases, cause of most accidents, drugs, war or what environment challenges which may impact on our lives. I would read up and learn about them for weeks. On and on again, just to imagine if my time on earth will still be long.

Black Mirror’s San Junipero is truly-wonderfully bad dream for me. They said movies we cherish the most are not those that feel the farthest from our experience. They are the ones that—in the darkness and stillness of a room —reanimate the wonder and mystery of tiny chunk of the world we know.

Even the series have been a constant reminder that everything could be flicked off with the switch of a button, San Junipero kinda made me hopeful on the concept of life and death.

It’s convenient.

A haunting reminder to live every moment to the fullest.


p.s. I knew I wanted to post this since I first watched the series, but couldn’t shake the melancholy mood, lol

(insert busy bee emoji here)


Biblical Lip Service



Never mind that your fellow woman friend is more a posted image or video than a person. You know she is a person, even what’s presented is a carefully constructed. It’s narrative, a story, a talking fantasy novel for a woman like you. Rest assured that its all made for the purpose perpetuating itself, just like how you love your make up every morning. Leaving you still hungry and nauseated.

But that’s OK.

Making a conscious effort in expressing anything true or beautiful or good or painful or joyous in any form, should have never been some sort of jokes for anyone who doesn’t walk in your shoes.


I’ll do better next time


from her upcoming album Semper Femina


Theresa Becker Wayman was Here


Warpaint ‘Heads Up Tour’ Live in Jakarta.

Video courtesy of Rob Hardy- as her wife was dancing away her sorrow (and pride) to this song.

The patriarchy got you marched this week, ladies?